Daily Logs 3-5-15

I. Leslie and Zef can maybe possibly be friends again some day
II. T'Pah and Fallan appoint meditation sessions
III. Lev and Webb share a drink at the hotel bar



I.
Leslie: *finally made it off the ship and down to Aquibana o_o* *checked into her room, spent like a day and a half either sleeping or showering, and then got herself all prettied up and went out to do things, namely to find a sunny place and just sit there* *absorbing sun like a blonde lizard*
Zef: *compared to the weekend he looks okay, compared to what a guy should look like... not* *absentmindedly wandering around, went from here to there, not quite sure where here and there is though* *spots Leslie, hesitates briefly but then walks over almost automatically; normally he'd give it some thought first, but that doesn't seem to work out today*
Leslie: *has her eyes closed and is leaned back, and the presence of somebody new irritates her * *but he's not close enough to warrant defensive action, so she keeps her eyes closed and pretends the presence isn't there and that they'll go away*
Zef: *she doesn't react o_o;* *stands (probably in the middle of the way or something, so people have to maneuver around him), looking at her and oh, okay, her eyes are closed, so maybe she's not ignoring him* *undecided how to go on* …
Leslie: *is totally ignoring him, yes* *but he stands there long enough it's weird* *opens one eye a crack and oh, it's Zef* *maybe if she ignores him longer he'll go away?* *tries it*
Zef: *she's seen hi-- oh...okay* *but what now?* *gets stuck in his thoughts while trying to decide and is eventually kindly shoved aside because “buddy, you're blocking the way”, so he moves and then stops again after a few more steps, closer to Leslie now but not yet in her personal space* Erm... *he said something, damnit, come on add a greeting* … oh. *o__o;*
Leslie: *huffs* Yes?
Zef: *coughs* Hey. *and now, come on, focus! It doesn't matter if you're this Zef or the other Zef, don't try to figure out what really happened last week /right now/, just don't, you need to...* Erm. I was wondering, do you wanna go to the beach with me, so we can talk or walk around and then talk or just walk around or sit? In the sand. At the beach.
Leslie: *shifts and sits up, opening her eyes to look at him* The beach. With you.
Zef: *shrugs* … *nods*
Leslie: *blinks at him again* *...* Okay. *shrugs* Why not.
Zef: *really?* *surprised* Okay. Er, cool.
Leslie: *stands* Let's go.
Zef: *nodnod* *half step back to give her more space, then looks left and right and then lost for a moment before he remembers where the beach is*
Leslie: You coming? *looks at him* *he looks so lost*
Zef: Oh! Yeah, sure. *starts walking* *mumbles* I wasn't sure where the beach is.
Leslie: Then it's a great idea to ask me to go there, huh. *starts walking too*
Zef: Well, I remembered. I've seen it earlier. *on his random tour that eventually ended here*
Leslie: Good job. *runs a hand through her hair*
Zef: And I was there last time we were here. *like a hundred years ago*
Leslie: And you remember, too.
Zef: Yeah. *pause* As if it had just been ages ago.
Leslie: I'm impressed.
Zef: Yeah, my... memory is, erm, just that great. *o__o*
Leslie: I know. It's a good memory.
Zef: But it forgets the wrong things.
Leslie: But you remember how to get to the beach.
Zef: *slight nod* Yeah... now.
Leslie: So it could be worse.
Zef: Yeah, it could be worse. *looks down while he's walking*
Leslie: I guess that's true.
Zef: I'm glad that it wasn't worse. *like we're not dead, probably not*
Leslie: Yes, that's nice.
Zef: Yeah... It was bad enough.
Leslie: *is really only giving basic answers and isn't really paying much attention to the conversation at all, just waiting until they get to the beach, which they just have, so she sits in the sand and digs her toes in and doesn't respond*
Zef: *o_o? confused for a moment, but then sits down, too* *sitting down is good* *sits next to Leslie, runs his fingertips through the warm sand thoughtfully*
Leslie: Did you find me on purpose.
Zef: *shakes his head* No, but... I wanted to find you, anyway.
Leslie: Why.
Zef: Because... *digs his hand under the sand* I wasn't myself. I was him. He threatened you. And that other guy. And he lied to you. And I'm sorry. *did I get that right...?*
Leslie: What? What other guy? You lied to me?
Zef: *hasty headshake* In the turbolift. That wasn't me. Weeks ago... *figuring all that out took quite some effort, really*
Leslie: Oh. Well. *shrugs*
Zef: *nods slowly, then takes a deep break and continues digging in the sand* And-- I'm sorry this happened to you. Not just the lift, I mean, but in that rec room during the takeover. I'm sorry that happened.
Leslie: *goddammit Zef why'd you have to bring that up* *quietly* Was that you or him in there?
Zef: *shrugs hesitatingly* I guess... it was him, but I kinda feel like it was me. I'm trying to sort it out.
Leslie: So you're not sure.
Zef: Sorry... *pause* I'm almost sure.
Leslie: Of which? You said both.
Zef: *sighs quietly* I'm almost sure that it was me. But it doesn't make any sense. Why would it have been me... But, yeah, but still. *eyes her carefully*
Leslie: I know, it doesn't make much sense. *sighs* I was afraid that it was really you. So if it was, I'm so sorry.
Zef: Mhm... *pause, more sand-digging* It's okay. I'm not... *angry? Disappointed? Sad?* not anything, I think. Except glad that we didn't shoot each other or... *shrugs: y'know, kill* And sorry if it was me. Because then I was really confused again.
Leslie: I know. I could tell. Zef, I- I don't know what I was thinking.
Zef: You didn't hurt me...
Leslie: I know, and I'm glad.
Zef: Me too. I guess, erm, I wanted to shoot you... *frowns thoughtfully, actively trying to put the scene back together*
Leslie: You very definitely did. It was concerning, how much you wanted to shoot me.
Zef: *slight nod* The other Zef doesn't really like anyone. His thoughts are disdaining, confusing and... disturbing. Yeah, so I had the urge to hurt people. *shrugs helplessly* I'm sorry. Really.
Leslie: And I'm sorry I hurt you. And /shot/ you, oh god. *covers her face with her hands* Everything got so fucked up.
Zef: You had to. *glances at her, considering to shift closer but doesn't move yet; mumbles* Maybe I'd... I'd have shot you otherwise and then, I don't know. *slight headshake; maybe he'd have taken her to the other people wearing his uniform o___o;; that would have been fucked up*
Leslie: *takes a deep shaky breath* I was gambling that you wouldn't.
Zef: *pulls his legs close and wraps an arm around his knees, with the other hand still touching the sand* I don't mind. That you shot me. Everything's a mess.
Leslie: /I/ mind. *takes her hands down and rests them on the sand* I'm glad you're okay and I'm glad you're okay with it. But I still mind.
Zef: *nods slightly* I get that... There's a lot that I'm not okay with myself. It's a mess. *he's gotta talk to so many people*
Leslie: *sniffs and rubs at her eyes* You know who you are now, right?
Zef: I'm pretty sure, yeah. Most of the time. *not always when he wakes up at night or whenever he fell asleep*
Leslie: Oh. Okay. That's fair.
Zef: I'm still sorting it out. *so being on Aquibana is good, it gives him some time*
Leslie: I figured you would be.
Zef: *nods, swallows* Yeah...
Leslie: I worried about you. Wondered if you were okay.
Zef: *brief ghost of a smile* Well, my body was taken good care of. I mean, he'd have thrown it away in the end, like a piece of trash. *grabs some sand, clutching a fist* And I was in that stasis pod...
Leslie: But you're okay now. That's what's important.
Zef: I don't know if I'm okay. But I could be less okay. *opens his fist with a sigh* And I'd have worried for you, too. But I was in stasis... *probably* *what if he wasn't and... what if /he/ did some of the really cruel things?*
Leslie: I know. I understand.
Zef: *nods slightly, taking a deep breath* But... I miss you, Leslie. I like sitting here.
Leslie: I miss you too.
Zef: Can we help that somehow? *eyes her carefully*
Leslie: *her posture slumps* I don't think so. I wish we could.
Zef: *wraps both his arms around his legs and rests his chin on his knees, sighs, then mumbles* … it worked out when we didn't talk about it. Why did we talk about it. *never change a running system*
Leslie: Because it would come up. It's an important part of your life, and strangely part of my life too. *sighs and brushes both hands through her hair* It can't work and you know it, Zefram.
Zef: It doesn't have to come up. *though there's still the part where he decided that it can't work out anymore, but it seems so strangely far away*
Leslie: You know it will. We don't live in a bubble.
Zef: No... I guess we don't.
Leslie: So you know it can't work.
Zef: Maybe I don't want to accept it... There's so much bad, insane, crazy stuff out there. *clueless shrug*
Leslie: Then what are you expecting? We tried not talking about it, and it didn't work. We tried talking about it, and look where it got us.
Zef: I-- I know. *sighs, leaning with his forehead against his knees* I don't know.
Leslie: *moves closer to him* I know what you mean and I wish the same thing but it can't happen.
Zef: *looks up when she moves closer* … *and then just shifts towards her*
Leslie: *puts her hand on his arm, putting a gentle pressure on it, pushing down* *basically gently pulling his arm from around his knees*
Zef: *sits there for a second, looking at her, but then lets go of his knee, shifting his posture very slightly, lets his arm hang low so it touches the sand*
Leslie: *looks back at him until success* *slides her hand lightly down his arm until she's holding his hand, and gives it a squeeze* *small smile* It'll be okay.
Zef: *squeezes her hand* … I hope so. *looks down for a moment, then at her, ghost of a smile*
Leslie: I'm sure it will.
Zef: *with the same expression* I hope you're right.
Leslie: If not, well, we'll work something out. You know we will.
Zef: *quiet sigh, looks down* So much to sort out. And we're stuck.
Leslie: *well there's the obvious solution* *break up with His Awfulness* *squeezes his hand again* Not stuck. Just temporarily stalled. Maybe.
Zef: *squeezes her hand too, slight frown* Maybe... *somewhere between question and hope* *not sure if he got the subtext though*
Leslie: Maybe we could be less bent on avoiding each other though. We live on the same deck, we'll /definitely/ see each other.
Zef: *!* Oh! Right. And I'll definitely end up in sickbay... I mean, erm, I do, right? *I'm thinking of the right Zef, yeah?*
Leslie: Yes, you do. Too often.
Zef: So erm, it's me who you wanted to wrap in [future!bubble wrap]? *insecure slight brief smile*
Leslie: *nods, with the beginning of a grin* Yeah. That was you.
Zef: *snorts a small laugh* Okay, then I got the right Zefram. I'll be in sickbay.
Leslie: Sooner or later, yes.
Zef: Yeah. But I guess not before we leave here. I think I'll manage to stay okay. *at least physically*
Leslie: That would be good. Don't get hurt here.
Zef: *headshake, pause, hesitatingly* Do you... think they have horses here?
Leslie: They probably do.
Zef: *shrugs* We'd talk about horses... but... I don't know. *thoughts, so many thoughts*
Leslie: But you don't know about horses?
Zef: No... not much, but you do? We-- *eyes widen briefly, awkwardly* Oh! /Did/ we talk about horse riding? I mean like... erm, ages ago. Or something.
Leslie: I think we did at some point, yeah. Either you wanted to try, or I wanted to take you, or maybe both.
Zef: *nodnodnod* Yeah, that. I meant that. *one of those, or both, he doesn't know but he remembers the horse thing*
Leslie: Were you meaning, by bringing that up, that you want to do that with me?
Zef: Yeah. Well, if you still want to...
Leslie: *nods* Yeah, sure. Just let me know when.
Zef: *!* Okay, I. Can I message you?
Leslie: Yeah. *smiles* Message me. Or my room is [Number], so you could, like, slide a note under the door or send smoke signals or knock or something.
Zef: *slight smile* I could try smoke signals. That would be new. *pause* Probably. Yeah.
Leslie: Then I'll keep an eye out for them.
Zef: Okay. *rubs his eyes with his fingertips, using his free arm* Maybe my mind got used to being in stasis... *suddenly tired, lately that seems to keep happening*
Leslie: Well, you need to use your mind now. Sorry.
Zef: Maybe that's it. Effort. *life is hard*
Leslie: Too bad. No more stasis.
Zef: Well, actually it wasn't that great... Waking up from it wasn't.
Leslie: I'm sure it wasn't.
Zef: No. Well, being on the ship wasn't, either. *takes a deep quiet breath* I'm /so/ glad we're done with them.
Leslie: I am too. So very glad. *squeezes his hand again* They've come around too many times.
Zef: *squeezes hers* Yeah... Well, I don't know much about last time. The other Zefram, he wasn't that involved. But he got angry when their ship was blown up.
Leslie: The last time was bad.
Zef: *slight nod* … Did they swap your mind, too?
Leslie: *shakes her head* No. *considers saying "your boyfriend" to avoid saying "Terrence" but that sounds 29387x worse* But they took people I knew. Terrence.
Zef: Yeah. *sighs* I know. *pause* We talked but... not much about that part. Yet.
Leslie: It wasn't a pleasant time.
Zef: Was it worse than this time?
Leslie: I think so, yes. *runs her free hand through her hair* It was pretty bad last time.
Zef: Oh... *shoves a hand under some sand, hesitates, but* Why?
Leslie: It was how they took over. They infected some of the crew with nanotechnology to inflict pain. More of us were captured.
Zef: *makes a face and squeezes her hand, so much arbitrariness, it's bad, taking bodies, inflicting pain to people he knows and likes and...* Yeah, that... sounds pretty bad.
Leslie: It was.
Zef: *takes a deep breath, but tenses up anyway* I'm sorry.
Leslie: Why? It wasn't and isn't your fault. We came through.
Zef: Yeah, but. *shrugs* I wasn't there. *which is totally his fault*
Leslie: You weren't there for a lot of things.
Zef: I know... I know I wasn't.
Leslie: So you don't need to be sorry. It's not your fault and nobody blames you. *squeezes his hand and moves closer* Don't worry about it.
Zef: Okay... Okay, nobody blames me. *squeezes her hand* It's stupid, but I still start thinking that I should have been there, but I wasn't, so I can't complain about the bad things that happened to me. And I remember... /some/ things from him, when he thought about last time. So I mix it up with now, it's stupid.
Leslie: I know. But it's okay. It happens. *leans on him* Nobody blames you.
Zef: *leans against her* Okay... I like not being blamed. I'm glad that it's over. I'm glad we're here. This time I deserve shore leave.
Leslie: I'm glad, too.
Zef: Yeah... *closes his eyes and takes a deep quiet breath, feeling the warmth of the sun, relaxing*
[And then they sit there because it's sunny and nice and it's nice to just relax and not do anything.]



II.
T'Pah: *on Aquibana at a buffet near her room during lunch time, studying the ingredient list of some alien dishes with her back to the room, having some Vulcan soup and tea already on her plate and wearing Vulcan civvies*
Fallan: *He has to come out of his room for food eventually. He only wears a light shirt and he still has a pair of swim trunks on--darn nudity laws. He doesn't recognize T'Pah from behind, he sits down next to her with a plate full of fruit. When he glances at her, he does a double take and introduces himself by nearly chokes on his meal.*
T'Pah: *has moved to an area of the buffet near a table, lifting an eyebrow and turning towards the noise and movement when Fallan “introduces” himself* Hello Ensign.
Fallan: *When his coughing clears, he speaks,* Lieutenant, good afternoon... I didn't recognize you from behind. *He tries to fight the bad memories from the other Fallan. Apparently, he enjoyed the other T'Pah's company, which is more than can be said for most people on the ISS Legacy.* ...How are you...doing?
T'Pah: I am still in the process of organising my thoughts through meditation, but in best health. *which is more than she can say about other crewmembers* *decides that she has finished picking her food, she doesn't experience a lot of hunger, anyway, and steps away from the buffet. Her hearing is well enough to understand Fallan even with the small distance between them, but what she doesn't see why see a reason for other guests to eavesdrop on their conversation*
Fallan: *God, he wishes he had her emotional control. He stays where he is as she approaches, and talks when she's near.* I'm glad to hear your health is well...I don't think you're alone in organizing your thoughts though. *Didn't Mirror T'Pah and Mirror Fallan talk about meditation? No, he doesn't want to remember.*
T'Pah: *nods* How are you recovering? *a little oddly into what she thought would qualify as 'awkward silence' after Fallan stopped talking* *sits down at the table across from Fallan, keeping her distance; Her usual personal space is larger than the one of humans, and right now she values her space even more than usual*
Fallan: *He lets another awkward silence hang between them. He's totally okay with more personal space though.* Well, I suppose I'll have to make a second visit to sickbay for my hip, but that's the only injury that remains, if you meant physical recovery.
T'Pah: I did not mean physical recovery.
Fallan: *Dang, and he thought he was being so smooth.* ...I'm sure you understand it's not easy to recover from, well, /that/. *He picks at his food.*
T'Pah: I understand. *takes a spoon full of soup*
Fallan: *More silence.* ...Would you like to talk about it...?
T'Pah: *looks up* I do not mind. Talking about it might help the sort process of our thoughts. It has further the advantage that we can adjust our experiences and unmask potential later misunderstandings.
Fallan: *He can't tell if he's feeling admiration or jealousy.* I...I should start by saying that I don't mean to accuse you of being emotional. Not at all, but...I remember what the other you was like. That must be difficult to parse...
T'Pah: *nods* That is correct. She had decided, for what I could gather, to leave the Vulcan philosophy behind. Her thought process and way of feeling is very different from mine, and... *stops* I do not assume that you are familiar with the workings of Vulcan meditation?
Fallan: Vaugely, but for the purpose of this conversation, assume I know nothing.
T'Pah: I'm talking about the t'san s'at, which is defined as the “intellectual destruction of emotional patterns”, and the influence this and other techniques have not only on our minds, but our brain functions. While the T'Pah from the other universe housed in my body, she neglected meditation and instead built up a lot of emotional patterns that weakened the psycho-suppression system in my mesiofrontal cortex. *pause, blinks* She caused physical alterations to my body, so to say, that I am currently sorting out and correcting.
Fallan: *He nods quietly. He knew some of that beforehand, but not all of it.* ...I understand. *He continues to pick at his food.* I...suppose I can relate. You were very angry. That...leaves long lasting marks.
T'Pah: *briefly sorts through her memory, trying to make sense of Fallan's words, then lifts her eyebrow* Are you referring to the events during which we temporiraly gained empathy?
Fallan: Hm? Well, I remember a moment when your opposite and mine came together to talk under the guise of meditation. It seemed to me like we were similar in thought at the time. *Oops, he was projecting.* Though, when we gained empathy, you did seem angry then, but I assumed it was because I had offended you.
T'Pah: Vulcan emotions are quite strong, which is why we repress them. I try to avoid situations in which I risk stimulating strong emotions. Back then, this risk, even though not overwhelmingly high, seemed to outweigh the gain from the situation. Our teacher was rather clueless, himself. I therefore decided that leaving was the most logical course of action. As for the other T'Pah, I am not sure if anger was the most dominant and prevailing emotion. Her mind had emotional richness, however, many things she liked were rather... of destructive nature.
Fallan: *He nods.* I see. I think all of us were destructive. *He tries to suppress a shudder, and fails to do so. He remembers wanting to do such horrible, immoral things...but he's not alone, he thinks. He sighs.* I apologize.
T'Pah: I recognise a tendency in you to talk about the events as if you did them yourself. I understand that it is a difficult concept to grasp that we gained memories as our own which were made by different people. Perhaps, due to the fact that us Vulcans have mind melds, I am more familiar with distinguishing those events from myself. But logic seems to dictate that the more you identify yourself with these events, the greater is the risk for them to cause conflicting emotions. Is it a sign for identification?
Fallan: ...You would make a chillingly accurate therapist. *He sighs again. Wow he's tense. He has to physically force himself to stop clenching his cup so hard or he'll break it.* It's...difficult to separate. If we're going to talk about this, though, I'd prefer talking about it in private...
T'Pah: *nods slowly, recognising the tight grip around the cup* Do you wish to continue talking about this?
Fallan: *He has no idea. He lets go of the cup and folds his hands. On one hand, he hasn't talked to anyone in depth about this since he got here and it's eating him away. On the other hand, he doesn't want to share this. He glances up at T'Pah and wonders if he can trust her.* I don't know the answer to that question.
T'Pah: Curious.
Fallan: How is it curious?
T'Pah: In that it is a question that is directly related to a decision you are supposed to make, if you want an answer to it.
Fallan: *He sighs. There's no getting around this one, and he knows he needs to talk, as uncomfortable as it is...* I'd be willing to talk of it if you're willing to keep what I say between you and I.
T'Pah: *lifts both eyebrows ever so slightly in surprise* I am willing, as long as you are willing to grand me the same courtesy.
Fallan: I will take what you say to the grave if I must. *He offers her a small smile, then stands up.* Should we find someplace private?
T'Pah: *lifts an eyebrow, standing, too* Perhaps, in the face of torture and a death threat, you should be allowed to talk about the information I share.
Fallan: ...Fair enough. *He nods. He can't argue that logic.*
T'Pah: Do you have a place in mind where we would be “in private”? *leaves her tray at the table, which is not unusual even though there are matter recyclers in reach*
Fallan: Perhaps one of our rooms? If you don't mind, maybe yours is best. I keep mine cold. *Unless T'Pah likes the cold.*
T'Pah: *thinks for a moment, then nods* That is manageable. Follow me. *leads the way to a lift*
Fallan: *He follows without much conversation. He's so nervous...*
T'Pah: *leads him into her room, which is a elongated area with grey floor and walls and white ceiling and wall cabinets. With one black doublebed at a pedestal at the end of the room under a skewed window front with white walls at the opposite end of the room and a kitchen unit with mini-bar and replicator it looks like a mashup of office and living room*
Fallan: *Wow, nice room--even if it's warmer than he'd like. He keeps his comments to himself though. When the door closes behind him, he talks.* I...hope you can forgive me for being...flighty? *He's not sure if that's the right word* It's not a comfortable topic to talk about.
T'Pah: I understand. And I don't see a reason to forgive you.
Fallan: Do you not see a reason because you do not want to forgive me, or because you don't feel there is anything I should apologize for...? *Please say the latter.*
T'Pah: *lifts an eyebrow* I do not “feel” that there is anything you need to apologise for. I also do not see anything you need to apologise for. *before you can ask if I don't feel it because I'm Vulcan or because there is nothing there*
Fallan: *He feels like this line of conversation will get unproductive real fast.* You asked about whether or not I identified with my other self...maybe we should sit, I can get long winded.
T'Pah: *nods and points towards a desk with four chairs that somehow still manages to look small in the room, at the side of the kitchen unit, so it's probably a dining table* *doesn't offer anything because they just got up from a buffet and both seem rather disinterested in ingestion*
Fallan: *He sits down and feels uncomfortably big in the chair. He has the urge to just kick it over and leave, but he won't do that.* I...suppose you remember what the other me acted like, right?
T'Pah: *nods* I do. *takes a seat across from him, crossing her legs and folding her hands on the tabletop*
Fallan: *She's like a therapist. He never really enjoyed his counselor meetings. He starts to look a little tense, but forces it away.* He...took a pleasure in causing harm to other people. I--/he/ enjoyed the rush of a battle, the rush of being in a position of power over someone else. *He cringes again, remembering his scene with Rein. 'You're much more alluring when you're helpless--' He has to physically close his eyes and will it away. It leaves a brief moment of quiet from Fallan, where T'Pah could interject if she liked.*
T'Pah: *leans back a little bit* I can relate.
Fallan: *He nods. It takes him another moment to calm himself down enough to talk again.* I hoped you would understand. I...am not very good at communicating this. *He resettles himself so that he sits back. He's angry, but only at himself, and it feels strange.* I'm not sure how much you know about me, but...well, I have...that is to say... *And here's where he no longer has the ability to communicate. He sighs.* I apologize again.
T'Pah: *lifts an eyebrow* I have read your file. *pause, in which she gathers herself. She should say more, but it is hard for her to communicate her perceiving of the situation, too* I have, however, also memories of our counterparts' interaction and your feelings during the time when I was empathic.
Fallan: *He sort of wishes T'Pah was still an empath. Maybe a telepath, that would make communicating much easier.* So I suppose you've already made the guess... Well, what you felt from me when we were empaths, that's...that's my baseline emotion, if that makes any sense. *He doesn't want to be here. He finds something on the wall to stare at.* I can assure you, it's been a very, very long time since I've done anything drastic, and as it is, I would refuse to hurt anyone if I can help it. *Some dark part of his mind cackles at him and points out that the second he loses himself, he'll hurt whoever is nearby. He feels like he's lying to T'Pah.*
T'Pah: *is a telepath, but a rather reluctant one* *which is probably one reason why she puts talking to Loreno off* As I said earlier *in a somewhat low voice* Vulcans have strong emotions. Which is why we follow Surak's law. Before we had a culture based around emotional restraint, we were a very warlike species, almost extinguishing ourselves in a global war.
Fallan: *He nods.* I know that. *He doesn't mean that in a condescending way, it's just to state that he hasn't forgotten /that/ much from the academy.* I admire that. *He watches her, as if he expected her to continue on.*
T'Pah: I remember /her/ offering meditation training for your counterpart. Would you like to take me up on that offer?
Fallan: *He pauses, then nods. He has a busy schedule, but he'd like a chance to get himself under control, and his usual meditation method appears to be ineffective.* If you have time, I would greatly appreciate it.
T'Pah: I can make the time.
Fallan: Thank you. *He nods.* I...am not sure I could reach the same level of control you have, but a little is better than none.
T'Pah: Vulcan meditation is a lifelong process. I have *remembers discussing this with Molly not so long ag- no, that was actually Mirror!T'Pah, how quaint* ...little experience in teaching non-Vulcans *and only little more in teaching Vulcans, actually*, but according to those experiences and skimming through the annotion to the English version of “The teaching of Surak” I am positive that it has a calming effect even to some non-Vulcan species.
Fallan: *He makes a note to acquire a copy of The Teachings of Surak. If he has time to read it.* I'm sure it does, and I'll appreciate anything you can do for me. *Just don't let me become him.*
T'Pah: *nods* According to the Vulcan saying, “I live to serve”.
Fallan: *He seems relieved already, his shoulders aren't so tensed.* I am very grateful for your help and service. However, can I ask one more question of you?
T'Pah: Yes.
Fallan: Why do you offer this service to me, when you could just as easily listen to my woes and send me on my way? It doesn't seem beneficial to you. In fact, taking time out of your schedule just to teach me would seem like...a burden. *He has no idea if that's the right word. Darn standard, needs more feeling-words.*
T'Pah: I could even send you on your way without “listening to your woes”. *shakes her head, eyebtrows slightly narrowed – not angrily, just thoughtfully* Do you ask if my offer is genuinely logical or of emotional nature?
Fallan: I ask because I genuinely don't know why you would want to help me. *After all, he's a grouchy old man who studies rocks who has spent exactly one half of his lifespan as an ensign. By all means, a loser.*
T'Pah: I appreciate the mentality of avoiding emotional outbursts. As a Vulcan, I can personally relate to it. Our philosophy is based on the idea to decide for logic over emotionality, but this value in itself is a moral one, not an intrinsically logical one. Your struggle is in line with my morality. Leaving you alone with it, however, is not.
Fallan: *He smiles and nods.* Well, I can understand that. *Having been toeing the line of his own morality, he appreciates someone who can stick to theirs.* Thank you again.
T'Pah: You are welcome.
Fallan: *He's not sure how to continue this conversation. He's got too many feelings. He does feel like he needs to let off steam though--maybe he can see if Molly left the pool so he can steal it.* Should I let you to your own devices for now? I did interrupt your lunch...
Molly: *NEVER LEAVES THE POOL*
T'Pah: As I remember it, interrupting lunch was a mutual decision. *pause* However, you are free to leave. *since she doesn't have anything else pressing to discuss, either. And needs some more meditation*
Fallan: I'll leave you. But, if you feel like stopping by, I'm room 7-13. Message me beforehand and I'll turn the temperature up. *He smiles a little apologetically.* Have a good evening Lieutenant.
T'Pah: *inclines her head* Same to you, Ensign Fallan-Ra-Gensolli.
Fallan: *He smiles a little and goes to see if the pool is free. If not he'll probably spend the rest of the day lying on his bed and trying to understand old Earth movies unless someone else finds him first.*
T'Pah: *gets up and finds a spot in the room to meditate, where she spends the rest of the afternoon in deep meditation*



III.
Lev: *got shooed out of their hotel room by Mira because she wants alone time to get ready to go out and have dinner, so Lev goes down to the lobby alone to wait for her* *looking around for a place to sit, feeling a bit lost*
Mira: *just wanted to have the whole room so she can get pretty and not have Lev standing around and she knows there's a bar downstairs with conversation*
Webb: *has come down to the bar for a change of view and sees Lev when he's crossing the lobby, making a detour* Ah, it's the Doctor. How delightful.
Lev: *turns his head to see who's calling* *eyes widen a bit seeing that it's Webb, he hasn't seen the man since he steped into that turbolift a week ago* Captain Webb. *you're alive* *looks a lot less dead then he did the other day, the bruises on his face almost completely healed, and he's wearing a plane black, but still nice looking shirt, with a jacket(gotta look nice for a date yo)*
Webb: I heard you gave yourself up just like I did. Great minds, and all that. Join me for a drink? *gestures to the bar*
Lev: Yes, sure. *a little confused*
Webb: *ambles over towards the bar and takes a seat, ordering a drink for himself and one for Lev* *it is rather a strong drink* So, tell me how your stint as Captain went.
Lev: *sits down next to him, and mentaly goes through the numbers of meds he's on to check if the drink will have bad consequences or not, but comes to the conclusion that it should be okay as long as he doesn't over do it* To be honest, more stressfull then I'd have liked and I wonder how you can sleep at night, Sir. But then again, considering the circumstances, that was to be expected.
Webb: *raises his glass* You ask how I can sleep at night. *chuckles and takes a drink* Not really. I'm trained for all sorts of things, coping being one of them. I'm afraid your training did not have such specifics, therefore I apologize for subjecting you to them.
Lev: *shakes his head to the apology* Someone had to be in charge. And I had more then enough support from McAdams and everyone else. *small smile* I'll be fine. *takes a drink too* *presses lips together at the alcohol burning down his throat, man, that's strong*
Webb: *watches Lev's reaction to the alcohol, amused* I spent some time with your counterpart too. He wasn't exactly a pleasant man.
Lev: *his smile fades to a sober expression, remembering his own time with his double* No. He wasn't. *his hands tighten around the glass*
Webb: Oh come now, Doctor, it's all in the past. Drink up and enjoy the present, won't you?
Lev: *awkward grin* I try. Though there is something eerie about getting stabbed by myself. *drinks* *though he will need more then just a drink to gether over those past two weeks*
Webb: Yes, I imagine that would be /terribly/ eerie. Another drink? *already on his second*
Lev: *still has some in his glass* I'm good. Gotta watch out with my medication anyway. *so Webb had a run in with Mirror Lev too huh*
Webb: So, you seem to be dressed rather nicely. Going somewhere?
Lev: *rubs back of neck, a little flustered* Yes. Hudson and I are having a long overdue dinner date. We ah- we haven't been able to spend much time together with all the things that have been happening lately.
Webb: *actually waggles his eyebrows at Lev* Oh /are/ you.
Lev: *leans back a bit ,away from Webb* *No, Webb, stop, there's nothing to eyebrow waggle about a dinner* Yes. It's just dinner, Sir.
Webb: Oh don't worry Doctor, we all know what comes after dinner .*smirks at him and turns back to his drink*
Lev: *flush a bit more, and finishes the rest of his drink* I'm not in the physical condition to do what you're implying. *stabbed, remember?* *wait, why did he even say that to Webb, Lev you idiot* *puts hand on forehead embarrassed*
Webb: *trolololol* *scoffs into his drink* I apologize, I shouldn't be teasing a man in your condition.
Lev: *can't tell if Webb is making another joke or is actually apologising* It's alright. *they can all use more light heartedness after what happened* *gestures to the waiter to give him another drink, but something less intense this time*
Webb: *how exactly does casual conversation work* I take it you've selected a comfortable room.
Lev: *nods* I think so. It has a nice view towards the ocean. *looks at Webb* Is it true that this shore leave is meant to last into the next week?
Webb: So I have attempted to arrange it, yes.
Lev: *thanks the waiter when he brings his new drink, taking the glass in hand* That's good. The crew needs it. So thank you for arranging that. *considering that they just had shoreleave not two months ago, that couldn't have been easy to arrange with starfleet*
Webb: Well, they always feel vaguely bad when something /especially/ horrendous happens to us.
Lev: Heh, of course they would. *sceptical* *sips drink*
Webb: Therefore there's no need to thank me. Besides, I was hardly helpful these past weeks, was I?
Lev: *thinks for a moment* You saved Vekal. *doesn't know about Vekal and webb both going through shit* And you gave me a few good suggestions on what to do.
Webb: It's true, I am a shining pinnacle of good advice. *airily*
Lev: *short chuckle* Of course. But jokes aside. At the very least you gave us something to work towards. We couldn't just let you down after you put your trust in us.
Webb: That is indeed my other function aboard the ship, to put my trust in my crew so they can perform valiantly. However did you discover my plans? I kept them /so/ secret. *finishes off his second drink*
Lev: I have my sources. *sip drink, and then looks down at it, more serious again, the insecurities creeping up on him* I'm sorry. *hands clanche around his glass* If we had put the plan with the gravity failure in motion sooner, we would have found you earlier, and we would have avoided some of the trouble we had. *like Mira getting captured, or the engineer dieing*
Webb: *woah* Oh don't be absurd, Doctor. You did the best you can, and how could I really ask any more than that?
Lev: *small smile* I'm a doctor, I can't help but wanting to spare people some pain.
Webb: *leans forward, resting his forearms on the bar* I can assure you, that is not just a doctor's desire.
Lev: *looks at Webb, a little perplexed at the serious reaction... but he understands* *takes a slow sip, giving Webb a moment to collect himself if he needs it*
Webb: *doesn't need to collect himself he's not a sniveling mess like Lev goshdarnit* Something wrong, Doctor?
Lev: *shakes his head* Nothing. Just thinking about the fact that we can't always have the best outcome in every situation.
Webb: And yet, we still manage to escape largely unscathed. I can't tell if the universe hates us, or loves us. *orders another drink*
Lev: That's a good question. Though we'll probably never get the answer to that. *sips drink and watches Webb order another* *Webb, go easy on the alcohol, man*
Webb: *shut up Lev you're not his mom* I expect we will eventually when we all are brutally murdered. *cheerfully*
Lev: How optimistic. *mild grin*
Webb: I am /also/ the soul of optimism.
Lev: *chuckles again* *man, this is weird, he's talking to Webb, and it's not even weird, he's actually in a good mood* *suddenly feels briefly overwehlmed by the fact that he's still alive and all is okay, and down the rest of his glass in an attempt to shove those feels back down*
Webb: *eyes Lev* Too much to drink?
Lev: *shakes his head* *pssh he can handle way more then this* No. But this will do for me for tonight. I still got a date, afterall.
Webb: *grin* But getting drunk can make things more interesting.
Lev: *lifts eyebrow* Captain, you haven't forgotten what excessive amounts of alcohol do to people of our gender, have you? *get too drunk and there's not gonna be anything interesting to do anymore* *also lev is a sleepy drunk so there's that*
Webb: I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about. *puzzled*
Lev: *perplexed* Never mind. Don't worry about it.
Webb: *tilts his head down very deliberately and stares at Lev's lap* Having... issues, are we?
Lev: *glances down at where Webb is staring, and then back, flustered* What? No! *he's functioning just fine thank you e_e* Have you never heard the term of a whiskey dick? *more quietly, because man, this conversation just got awkward*
Webb: *leeeeeaaaaans on the bar* Maybe for /some/ men. You included, I presume?
Lev: *has never had the chance to test it, but like he'd ever admit it to Webb, so he might as well act as if it's the case* I fall asleep in general if I drink too much. *though he also get more cuddly and corny then usual, but psh* *still flushing, embarrassed*
Webb: Well I can assure you, it's not a problem I've ever experienced. I wish you luck with your ailment.
Lev: *good for you Webb* Hah. Why thank you. *ugh Webb, why* *exasperated expression*
Webb: *trololololo* Something wrong?
Lev: Aside from the fact that this is not a conversation I had expected to have with you, Sir, nothing.
Webb: So glad I have /risen/ to expectations. *he thinks he's so clever*
Lev: Congratulations. *ah dang, his glass is empty, that was a thing*
Webb: *disappointed* You didn't react to my pun. *the liquor makes him weird*
Lev: *lifts eyebrows, giving Webb a "really now?" look*
Webb: When your Captain makes a joke, you should laugh.
Lev: Ha ha. *such fake laugh, much wow* That good?
Webb: Appalling. Take an acting lesson.
Lev: *sighs shaking his head, such disapproval* I have more important things to do.
Webb: *return of the eyebrow waggling* Indeed.
Lev: *partial facepalm* *also flustered again* *damnit Webb* /Other/ more important things.
Webb: I'm sure.
Lev: I'm not even gonna comment on that.
Webb: *decides he's going to be good and not embark in the truly merciless teasing*
Mira: *finally finishes getting ready and comes looking for Lev, coming up behind him at the bar and giving him a warning 'hey sweetie' before putting her arms around his shoulders for a hug* Ready to go?
Lev: *only manages to turn his head a bit before he gets the hug* *flush, damnit, Webb is gonna tease more, nooo* *looks back at her, putting his hand on her upper arm* Yes.
Webb: *gives Mira a polite nod and gets up from the bar* Thank you for your conversation, Doctor, it was most.... stimulating. *winks at him and saunters off*
Mira: *gives Lev a bit of an odd look* What does he mean?
Lev: *cringe* He just like to put me in awkward situations. It's nothing. Don't worry about it. *gentle expression at Mira* Shall we go?
Mira: Yes, let's. *takes his hand and pulls him from the barstool* I found a nice place, you'll like it. Make sure to let me know if you get tired or feel sore at all, and we'll go right back to the room.
Lev: *gets up letting himself be lead* I will. But don't worry, I should be fine. *and took medication along just in case*
Mira: Still, be honest about how you feel. *takes him out of the hotel and they head along the street to a restaurant where they have a nice quiet evening*